Archive for September, 2005
A Hello
Posted on September 17, 2005, by soph, under Uncategorized.
Just felt like calling out to y’all out there in Malaysia, Singapore, Australia and wherever else you may be but read my blog…
How’s it goin’?
Do tell.
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Selling Myself
Posted on September 15, 2005, by soph, under Psychobabble.
I found this interesting phrase in an overseas mag a couple months back - Approval Whore. Also known as approval prostitute, it simply means a person who will do anything for approval from others.
The story begins with a woman who plays the piano only when she’s all by herself because she feels bad about making other people listen to her music. Then her dog comes into the room, and she is overcome with guilt when she makes a mistake because she thinks she’s spoiling the listening experience for her dog.
That’s what an approval whore does - live in constant fear and guilt that he or she is inconveniencing, troubling, wrecking anyone or anything belonging to anyone. (Yes, including a dog’s musical listening experience, but she is a pretty extreme example.) These people survive only on approval from others, and the mere thought of someone being unhappy with them is grounds for suicide (okay, now I’m the one being extreme).
You get what I mean. These are the people who go out of their way to make everyone happy, who appear utterly selfless and totally giving, but if you look closer, are just scurrying around trying to gain the approval of every Tom, Dick and Sally. These are the people who feel bad over the slightest imagined infraction, or are consumed with guilt over the most insignificant of matters, when most of the time it really isn’t their fault at all.
I guess my question then is, are you one? Cos I’ve been asking myself the same thing.
Sure, I don’t feel bad about playing bad music in front of my family, let alone my dog, but that doesn’t prove anything really, because the woman who did is frankly, just batty and it’s a miracle she has lived to her however many years old she is. I do wonder however, if in some enigmatic twist of my inner workings, I am indeed an approval whore. One who although demonstrates a rebellious streak that gets her into trouble occasionally, finds herself unable to say no to people. And who stutters in apology when she has to. It’s almost like a really bad reflex that I can’t stop.
Then there’s the I-can’t-live-with-people-not-being-happy-with-me part. I mean, what is that all about? Everyone knows you can’t please everyone, and let’s face it there are some people on this earth who are just too damn hard to please. That or I shouldn’t even bother because firstly, I don’t have to and secondly, I can’t. Hell, sometimes I don’t even know for sure if it’s me that they are unhappy with in the first place.
The more I think about it, the more I’m convinced I’m an approval whore, albeit one who is rapidly recovering. Not an extreme one like Batty Lady, not to everyone like before, but in every sense of the word in certain situations and towards certain people.
And it’s time to stop.
So the next time you catch me fervently agreeing to everything put to me and you just happen to know it’s not me but my reflex nodding and smiling, hit me over the head. Please.
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Rock Fan
Posted on September 15, 2005, by soph, under Movies Music TV.
Burnett has done it again.
All it took was half an episode of Rockstar: INXS and I was hooked for good. Granted I was a wee bit late considering they were already down to the final six when I discovered it, and I blame it fully on some long-haired dude I unfortunately witnessed in the earlier stages who thought screaming unintelligibles into the mike would totally rock (pun intended).
I’d promptly changed the channel, never to give it a thought again, until that fateful day when something compelled me to keep my finger off the “channel up” button. The combination of the black choir, the elaborate sets, the stakes, the flame-licked words “A Mark Burnett Production”, and the fact that they sang both “Imagine” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” in one day won me over.
I am so a fan.
Now it’s down to the final four and I honestly couldn’t pick a favourite to vote for even if I was voting in the first place. One goes home tonight and then there will be three. I can’t imagine how the voters are going to choose because to my untrained rock ear, they are all pretty damn good. And I still can’t believe the winner becomes the next INXS frontman.
Trust Mr Burnett to take the already successful Idol franchise and top it a thousand times over.
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Do you also believe?
Posted on September 12, 2005, by soph, under Psychobabble.
It is possible for a person to accept themselves regardless of what people say?
I don’t. As a psychologist I heard last week said, humans are social beings. We are constantly interacting with others, we need to interact with others, and as a result, our perception of ourselves cannot help but be largely influenced by what others think or say.
The whole “Sure the magazines all show stick-thin people but I don’t care what others think, I love myself the way I am” spiel is, in my opinion, just the politically-correct, feminist, liberated-woman, cool statement to make when it comes to body shape and self-esteem. I don’t know, maybe some people have actually talked themselves into believing it’s true but let’s be honest here darling. I’m all for boosting our self-esteem - I don’t think women have enough of that anymore - but let’s not lie to do it.
Don’t get me wrong, I totally believe in loving ourselves and accepting our flaws (and good points), but behind every woman who is comfortable with her own body are people who support her, affirm her and tell her she’s beautiful. Not everyone has to agree, it only takes the few who matter, but those few can make all the difference between a life of diet-slavery and plastic surgery, and the confidence that makes a woman all the more attractive.
So that whole “I don’t care what people think, I love myself for who I am” speech? Save it. And thank God instead for the people who love you for who you are.
Ah. It looks like I’ve finally run out of steam. Finally. And if you’re wondering what has sparked all this, let’s just say it’s a combination of free time, a restless mind, some unrelated frustration and an event I attended last week.
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Do you believe?
Posted on September 12, 2005, by soph, under Married.
It is better for parents to divorce than to expose their children to constant fighting?
I do. Many will disagree, saying children of two parents who fight are better off than children of single parents. Then there’s the argument that divorce is biblically wrong. Putting aside the issue of abusive spouses, which in my book definitely warrants calling that lawyer (and the police), I’ve often wondered which was better for the kids.
I believe there was a psychological or sociological study on children of divorce and children whose parents fight. Now understand that when I say fight, I don’t mean the occasional tiff between two people who are basically different beings trying to exist as one. I mean the full-blown arguments, the screaming, the abusive language, maybe even the occasional hand-raised.
If I’m not mistaken, the results argued for parents to stay together. But I disagree. The argument against divorce is children need two parental figures in their lives. I argue that it is better for a child to grow up in peace. I believe children learn more from their parents than we realize, and constant fighting between parents simply sends the message: this is normal. Kids grow up thinking that’s how all marriages are and so when they marry they continue the destructive chain of fighting because it’s the only lifestyle they’ve ever known. They don’t know that not everyone screams and yells all the time. They don’t know that there are other ways to solve marital problems. They don’t know that men should never raise their voice or hand to another woman.
Of course the same could be argued for children of divorce: that children learn that the only way of solving problems is to give up and walk out. Sure, that ain’t exactly the healthiest message we want to be sending but it’s a lose-lose situation either way. Better to give guidance, counseling, love and care in a quiet, peaceful environment I reckon. Besides, what’s shared custody for?
Maybe I’m not looking at the whole picture here. Maybe I’ve heard too many stories of children whose parents divorced but who maintained healthy, much happier relationships with both parents after they moved apart. Maybe it’s easier for me to do the talking because I haven’t experienced what I’m arguing for.
But one thing I know for sure: children of wife-beaters almost always beat their wives. It’s practically a guarantee. They hated it when they were young, but when they grew up, they did the same thing. And I’m guessing it’s because that’s what Daddy did when they were a kid. So what do you wanna bet that children of parents who constantly fight will almost always end up in volatile, loud and angry relationships as well?
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Figures
Posted on September 9, 2005, by soph, under Uncategorized.
Five in two days. That’s how many people I found out quit their jobs in the forty-eight hours past. It would have been six, but one of them got his offer withdrawn because he allegedly “didn’t show enough enthusiasm at the initial prospect”.
Almost makes me want to jump in and join the crowd. Probably because four out of said five are from my place-of-work.
And while one has announced he cannot stand working with a colleague anymore, and I have yet to hear the other’s reasons through the grapevine, three are quitting to take the first step towards pursuing the desires and dreams of their heart. At least that’s what I think and hope.
And I am so excited for them.
On a marginally-relevent note, I was just thinking that human beings are such social animals. To belong is the constant desire of our heart. To someone, somewhere, somehow. And if a man were stranded on an island all by himself, and he didn’t have the creativity and imagination of Tom Hanks to make a round ball his friend, he would probably assimilate himself into the animal community in time. Just so he could belong. To someone, somewhere, somehow.
Then again, maybe that was totally irrelevent.
Whatever. Did I mention that it’s Friday and I am one hundred percent excited?
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Tag, I’m It.
Posted on September 7, 2005, by soph, under It's a Girl's Life.
I’ve been tagged. According to Winnie, that means I have to list out five weird or unusual habits, before I get to tag another five people to do the same. Let’s see…
1. I make lists. Lots and lots of them.
2. I like to have something to hold in my hands. Like, a cushion.
3. I always apply lip balm and/or gloss in the car. Even when I’m the one driving.
4. I always start buffet meals with bread and salad. Cheese too, if available.
5. I always eat the crusts of bread first. If it’s a bun, I’ll peel off the brown “skin” on top and eat it before the bun itself.
If you really think about it, we have more unconscious habits than we realize. So guys, you’re it…
1. Alex
2. Jessie
3. Penny
4. Puay Li
5. Dida
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My Humble Opinion
Posted on September 5, 2005, by soph, under Uncategorized.
I don’t think it’s fair that One consistently imposes upon Others their bad temper and lousy mood just because the unfortunate Others are forced by circumstance or chance to be in their nearest vicinity. There is a limit to what people should be expected to tolerate, and an apparent willingness or capacity to tolerate more should not be construed as license to wear stormclouds and be rude.
It is exceptionally unacceptable when One continually behaves in said manner towards Others who are friends, family or colleagues because it places upon Others an obligation to practice patience, tolerance, and basically be nice. Just so you can throw your tantrum.
Grow up.
I can understand a personal crisis, a natural disaster, a man-made horror. But let’s be honest: you cannot have a personal crisis every other sunrise (sometimes twice in one day) for months and months on end. And in case you don’t realize, it’s not exactly a flattering look.
Have a good day.
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It’s a beautiful world.
Posted on September 3, 2005, by soph, under Travels.
As you might have realized, I’m just too darn lazy to post up pics. It’s a good thing I have a husband to post up ours.
Finally, ladies and gentlemen, we present to you… Bahamas.
(Don’t get too excited, there aren’t that many.)
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Comment
Posted on September 2, 2005, by soph, under Uncategorized.
Full of the nicest things to say, I clicked on “Comment”… and was taken to the Friendster login page.
I have to login just to post comments?! (And there ain’t no tagboard either).
Penny Kee, why did you have to be so special and get a blog in Friendster?
p/s: Your blog’s funny.
