Posts from ‘July, 2008’

The day I got stopped by a cop

I should have put on my seatbelt before I left the petrol station, but home was 30 seconds away and I was in a hurry. I didn’t see the cop until I’d passed him and by then I knew it was too late. His partner pulled me over some 10m ahead.

“Ma’am, you weren’t wearing your seatbelt,” he said in Malay.

“Okay,” I replied.

“So how do you want to settle this?” he asked.

“Oh, right, you want my driving license?” I said, also in Malay, handing it over.

He didn’t even look at it. “How do you want to settle?” he said again.

“Just write me a ticket. I’m in a hurry.”

“You want this to be quick or slow?”

“Quick, of course, I’m in a hurry,” I said. Duh!

“If you want it to be quick, you must help a bit la,” he said.

And that was when it finally hit me (guess I’m the duh! one here, not him) – he’s asking for a bribe.

“Just write me a ticket,” I told him.

“You help a bit la.”

“It doesn’t take long to write a ticket. Just give me one.”

“You help la.” Is he begging for a bribe?

“I can’t help you. I could get into trouble too.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll guarantee [you won't get into trouble].”

What? They offer to do that?

“I can’t. Just write me a ticket quick, I’m in a hurry,” I practically yelled at him.

He had to stop another car just then, so he told me to wait (much to my annoyance) while he went over to talk to the driver of the other car. He waved that guy off pretty quick – I wonder why – and then he came back and waved me off without saying anything else.

I feel bad that our cops are begging for bribes; they shouldn’t but I know they don’t get paid much and these guys obviously didn’t even care about me breaking the law – they just wanted money. Sometimes I feel bad enough to actually consider giving them money because if times are tough for all of us, it must be worse for those on paltry salaries.

But I didn’t want to bribe them. And I bet no one has ever yelled at that cop to hurry up and write them a ticket before because he looked distinctly taken aback. In future I’m just going to say I’m a journalist. I hear that scares them off pretty quick.

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Daughtry

I could never do the groupie thing, she realised as she watched the screaming, waving throng. A little jumping, lots of cheering, some singing along, plenty of clapping, that was about the extent of it. Perhaps it just wasn’t in her to offer such devotion to a celebrity, rock star or not; she certainly could not imagine crying along to live performances the way she’d seen people do on those concert DVDs.

But oh it would be so awkward to have eye contact and not even pretend to be excited, she mused. The organisers had very kindly put the media box right up front, just slightly to the right of the stage. If she stayed where she was, at the nearest corner, she had an unbelievable view of the band. I wonder, she thought, if they would be insulted to see me merely bobbing along to the music – she didn’t even know the words.

Then Daughtry came on. When she caught the guitarist’s eye, she waved. It felt a little weird, but not as weird as she imagined it would be if he looked in her direction and saw her just standing there, unmoving. They sang one of their hit singles and she realised she knew at least some of the words. So she shouted along like everyone else. When she didn’t know every word, she guessed or made some of it up. It wasn’t like they could hear her anyway.

She cheered – at least that came naturally; she jumped when everyone jumped; and she waved whenever one of the band looked her way. She was tired from being on her feet for so long, she was definitely thirsty, but she wasn’t going to give up her vantage point. She could feel herself getting stickier as the minutes ticked by, though the slight drizzle helped a little bit. And she didn’t even mind when other equally sweaty people bumped into her.

What do you know, she thought, as she began waving along to one of the songs, I’m actually having a pretty good time. She wouldn’t say she was a huge fan; she liked some of their songs, sure, but really, she was there because she had a media pass and she wanted to check out their live gigs. Well, they were awesome. The view from where she was definitely helped. She wished all event organisers treated the media this well and she counted it a great night out, even when she had to walk all the way up the entrance ramp to the carpark on Level Three because it was past midnight and the entrances into the shopping centre were locked.

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Learning how to use Twitter

I discovered Twitter quite awhile back, but brushed it off as just another Internet fad for: a) kids who had too much time and money on their hands; b) self-obsessed people who think their every move at any moment would actually be interesting to other people.

I get to say things like that because yesterday, I became one of those “self-obsessed people”. I signed up for a Twitter account. This is why:

a) I like to try (almost) everything at least once.

b) I wanted to learn about it.

c) I wanted to “follow” tunaforuna but I can only do so if I sign up.

d) Articles like these: 7 Ways Marketers Can Use Twitter; Twitter Marketing; Network’s Try ‘Twittering’ To Spread Their Message; and Could Advertising Pollute Twitter?

I’ve been pretty slow to hop on, admittedly, but in my circle at least, it’s yet to catch on. What’s interesting for me is the opportunity to explore a new medium, and more importantly, to see where it goes in terms of marketing, advertising, social networking etc. I figure if the big guys are talking about it and exploring its potential, I should at least check it out and learn about it too.

I’m also loving the challenge of expressing myself in 140 characters or less as opposed to the unchecked rambling I am occasionally prone to here. Learning to be a little more concise in my writing can never hurt. And I’m really enjoying Penelope Trunk’s twitter. If you know of any interesting twitters I wouldn’t mind checking out some. For the interested, Barack Obama has one too. And if you like, you can follow me here.

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Q&A with Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed

As promised, excerpts from my interview with Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed. These were my questions but it was a group telephone interview so any of the other journos were free to use them. I admit to being a little annoyed sometimes, especially when I read other articles that were written using mostly my questions and not their own but like I said, it was a group interview and it’s perfectly normal and acceptable.

What sets Gene Simmons Family Jewels apart from all the other reality TV shows out there?
Shannon Tweed: We’re real and we’re not a car accident.
Gene Simmons: I think women around the world, especially in Malaysia, would love to see a woman like Shannon. Shannon is a modern 21st century woman who doesn’t define herself by any man – certainly not me. I think that’s a great wake up call to women around the world. I don’t care what religion or culture you are from; you are more important than you think you are. Maybe you’re even more important than the men in the world, and that’s a self-empowering message. If the women of the world want to see what a super 21st century woman is like, you watch our show and you’ll see Shannon, who speaks her mind and if she doesn’t agree with me…
ST: You know, just because I kick your ass doesn’t mean I’m modern.
GS: That’s what I mean.

You and Shannon have done a fantastic job of bringing up Nick and Sophie. What is the secret?
GS: The secret is Shannon Tweed.
ST: It’s not.
GS: Go to your local store and buy the deluxe Shannon Tweed model. Whatever it costs, go and buy that model. That will bring you lots of happiness.
ST: The secret is not a secret. It’s how to say ‘no’ and mean it and how to say ‘yes’ and mean it. When the kids were growing up, they would try to play one parent against the other. You have to have a unified front, and you have to not fight with each other in front of the children. You have to show them that you’re the boss and you mean what you say. They could never change my mind about anything, so they never tried to beg me for things. If I said they couldn’t go out, they didn’t ask me twice. They know that ‘no’ is no and it never changes to ‘yes’ so it was always very clear what we were doing and they didn’t question our authority, and that’s important, I think.
GS: Love your mother, fear your father.
ST: You can fear your mother too.
GS: I do.

What if your kids wanted to become rock stars, would that be a ‘yes’ or ‘no’?
ST: I don’t have to give them permission to be what they’re going to be when they’re grown up. When they’re adults, they make their own decisions and then my job is over. [Laughs]
GS: That would be fine with me, as long as they had the work ethic. No lazy way out, no expecting somebody else to do it. If they work as hard as I do, they’ll have a great job whatever they do. You have to love labour, not look for a job. Don’t get a job; love working, whatever you do.

What won’t you do on Gene Simmons Family Jewels?
ST:
What won’t you pay for? Let me think.
GS: Oh my god, I already jerked off a bull, what else do you want me to do?
ST: [Laughs] It’s more like, what won’t they film?
GS: I’m saying, once you do that, who the h*ll cares after that? By the way, there’s nothing that smells like that.
ST: Oh my God.
GS: There’s nothing. It’s not like turpentine, not like anything.
ST: There’s one thing… [Laughs]
GS: [Laughs] For those of you who don’t know, one of the episodes had me, well, let’s just say it had to do with a big bull – 1200 pounds – and how the bull’s sperm was actually worth more than the bull. You’ve never seen anything like this in your life.
ST: Why you had to go get some, I have no idea.
GS: I had to tie up the cow. That part I liked. I had to put on these long gloves and a catcher’s mitt – this kind of thing that caught it. You’ve never seen anything like this. It’s unbelievable.
ST: So, to answer your question – nothing.

What about maybe getting married on TV?
ST: Good question.
GS: I’m not familiar with that term.
ST: There’s something he won’t do, isn’t there? But you know what the happy news is? There’s something we’ll also never do, and that’s get divorced on camera.
GS: Or off camera, Shannon Tweed.
ST: I feel better already.

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A gem of a reality show

I’ve never been one for celebrity reality shows, but I must say Gene Simmons Family Jewels has piqued my interest. The combination of Gene Simmons, who is quite the character, and his close-knit family, the “happily unmarried” partner Shannon Tweed and their two kids Nick and Sophie, make for a pretty interesting watch. Plus, they’re really funny.

It’s one of their biggest quirks that a controversial rockstar (of KISS fame) and a former Playboy model would produce two perfectly-behaved, smart, witty and all-round fantastic youngsters. Really makes you think about what society perceives as “good parents” versus what it really takes to be a “good parent” and to raise a wonderful family.

Earlier this year, I did a telephone interview with Gene and Shannon so I got to ask them what their secret is. Gene said the secret is Shannon (awww). Shannon said the secret is to say no and really mean it. Nick and Sophie never ask twice, she said, because they know she means what she says.

In a time where many parents are trying to abandon the rod in favour of communication and reasoning, Gene and Shannon are sticking to strict parenting and discipline. I think it’s ridiculous that parents are trying to negotiate with their children these days, he said. And he has a point.

I can totally imagine them being strict parents. Gene – who claims he’s never been high, drunk or smoked in his life (and expects the same of his kids) – is apparently known for not tolerating ignorant or silly questions from the media. When the interview started, a computer went off in the background and Gene stopped. “What’s that? Who did that? Turn it off immediately.”

I immediately moved my phone, which I had already put into silent mode, off the table just in case it decided to vibrate. Throughout the entire 30 minutes, nothing else went off anywhere. You don’t want to piss off Gene Simmons.

I’ll put up the interview another day. It makes a real interesting read.

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Parking lot etiquette

Scenario One:

I was at Bandar Utama New Wing LG carpark looking for a spot when I see this lady getting into her Kancil. Even though I was at a t-junction, I stopped and put on my indicator (she was right ahead of me facing the junction) because I was running late and well, I wasn’t going to let a spot pass me by anyway. A line of cars waiting to turn at the junction was forming behind me, but they can wait.

Apparently, the lady thought I could too. She got in, saw me waiting, gestured at me to hang on and proceeded to rummage about in the front seat. She went on for at least a full minute, which is really quite long considering I was staring straight at her, waiting for her to leave, and an increasingly irate line of drivers were boring holes through the back of my car with their eyes. She finally left and I drove straight into the lot.

Scenario Two:

I was running a wee bit late for dinner and a movie with Bec at the Curve, so when I saw a lady unlock her car, I immediately put on my indicator. It was a bit farther than I usually like to park but beggars can’t be choosers.

The lady saw me (and the car behind me), opened her left back passenger seat to do something, opened her boot to rummage a bit, opened her right back passenger seat to do something else (it was unbelievable) and finally got into the driver’s seat. Once in, she fiddled around somemore in/with her handbag, wound down her left front passenger window, wound down the driver’s side window, and finally, finally started the car and drove out of the lot. I must have waited at least three minutes. Probably more.

***

I don’t get it. Don’t they feel bad when someone’s waiting for their spot and they’re just taking their own sweet time as a traffic jam builds up? I understand the basics – get in, lock the door, put your bag somewhere safe, maybe even take out your mobile and hook up to a hands-free kit. But that doesn’t take three minutes. I understand if you have a massive load in a trolley and need time to fill up your boot, but then again, I’ve also seen four people standing around a full trolley while one lady slowly picked up one plastic bag after another and the other three watched. Can we buy some common courtesy and consideration around here, please?

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Transparent salaries?

Figure out how much you should be paid

It’s a very interesting thought and she’s right, the people benefitting most from non-transparent salaries are the employers themselves, but I wonder if this would really work here. Salaries are such a closely-guarded secret in the workplace, but why? Even though I suspect I sort of know the answer, I’d really like to hear your thoughts. Plus, your thoughts on transparent salaries.

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I’m going for a blood test tomorrow

and to be honest, I hate blood tests. My first was when I was suspected of having dengue fever sometime during high school and it totally freaked me out. Like, the crying kind of freaked me out. I think my crying traumatised me more than the test itself.

My second was insisted upon by my mother because I was some 20 years old and didn’t even know my own blood type. I do now.

My third was when I was applying for Australian permanent residency and had to do a medical. I was perfectly outwardly calm because I was a married, fully-grown woman and freaking out would have been rather embarassing to say the least.

Tomorrow will be my fourth. I’m doing it because I know I should make a habit of it, along with regular medical/gynaelogical checkups. Ugh.

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Yet another animal adventure

We were doing the same ol’ at work on Thursday morning when there was a massive bump against the window. We pulled up the blinds and figured it must have been a bird that flew into the glass. Then we saw it – a Myna lying on its back in one corner of the window ledge. It was alive, but looked like it wouldn’t be for much longer.

MA climbed out onto the ledge to bring the bird in because we didn’t know what to do. We couldn’t leave it there to die either – the crows might eat it. So we put it in a box and put it on the table – it was a fair-sized one, bigger than my hand – and watched its little chest thump really quickly. Blood was trickling down the side of one beak and I wondered if it was going to die on us. So we did what any group of people with not a scientific bone in our body would do: we called the doctor!

It’s a good thing Doc (boss of us Potatoes) is really a medic. Not that he was trained to treat birds. We all looked to him expectantly, and he suggested we leave the bird outside. Yes, to die. If it was indeed going to die.

“What do you want me to do? Do a CT scan? Intubate it?”

Err… guess not. So he found a bigger box and tipped the bird upside down into it. It landed with a thud. Our jaws fell open. And the bird stood! Doc took the box outside, put it under a huge leaf for shade, and tried to scare away circling crows. Mr. Myna was still alive, after all.

Later on, when he went back out to check on it, it was gone. The blood mustn’t have been that serious. And it turns out, Doc did save the bird. CL wonders if it’ll come back to visit us someday.

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Red Cliff

I watched Red Cliff today… three hours before I attended a press conference with John Woo, Chang Chen, Lin Chi Ling and Zhang Feng Yi. I thought the movie was absolutely fantastic, though I should also add that I’m a huge fan of Tony Leung and Takeshi Kaneshiro. For non-fans, I’d tone down the adjectives by a couple degrees, but it’s still a great movie.

I’d be happy to watch Tony Leung and Takeshi do nothing but stare at each other because I find their onscreen charisma so mesmerising, but I suppose that wouldn’t have been a very interesting movie. Luckily, Red Cliff is set in the context of the Three Kingdoms so there’s plenty of action to go round. Oh, and there’s a sequel. I probably should tell you that because I didn’t know beforehand and when the movie ended abruptly I almost swore out loud in the cinema.

I love watching Chinese movies. Good ones, obviously. I feel as though I’m immersed in another world, because the circle that I currently inhabit is so far removed from a world where everyone speaks Mandarin. In fact, hardly anybody speaks to me in Mandarin on a regular basis.

I love listening to the actors speaking Mandarin, and I love that I understand what’s going on. It’s like I get to be a part of that world for a while and share their jokes and follow their lives when no one else can. By ‘no one’ I really mean Y and most of our close friends, of course, though Y does take an interest in Chinese movies if a gem comes along. I reckon Red Cliff is one of those gems.

I love that I recognise the names of the characters; I love that I remember bits of the context from high school Chinese history lessons; I love just listening to the language being spoken by Taiwanese and mainland Chinese actors because it’s different from how we speak it here (kinda like how our English has a different accent from Americans and Brits I suppose).

The press conference (pc) also marked a major milestone for me. I asked my first Mandarin question at a pc. I hardly attend non-English pcs and when I do, I usually leave all the question-asking to the real Chinese press even though I understand everything that’s going on. Today, I decided it was time to break that mental block. After all, I am perfectly capable of conversing in the language, no?

I’ll admit it: I was nervous as hell. I formed the question in my head and rehearsed it mentally a couple of times to make sure I didn’t sound like an idiot in front of the entire roomful of people. And when I was finally called upon… I blanked and totally forgot my carefully constructed sentence!

Well, the floor was already mine so what’s the worst that could happen? I’ll probably never speak to John Woo (or any of the others) again anyway. After a couple of uhms while I waited for my brain to resume working, I got my question out. It was a bit choppy in the beginning but I did it. And I didn’t sound like an idiot. And I did it without my pre-constructed sentence so I guess I am capable of holding my own after all. I swear there was a massive smiley face floating around inside my head. I think I’m going to be fine from now on.

I don’t have any photos from the pc because R was my photographer. And I didn’t even get anywhere near the foursome so no pictures with them either. Security was way tight – sometimes I think Asian celebs are more particular than Western ones though we’ve certainly come across a couple of divas from the latter group. Anyway, just go watch the movie.

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