Posts from ‘January, 2010’

My first Akad Nikah ceremony

Jan 31st, 2010
by soph.
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The Akad Nikah is the marriage contract or marriage solemnization part of a traditional Muslim wedding. I knew a little bit about it, things I’d learned from photographs, friends and wedding assignments for work, but until yesterday morning, I’d never actually attended one before.

The thing that struck me the most was how simple and communal everything was. The couple’s closest friends and family gathered around them for the ceremony, some sitting on the floor, others standing around. It felt really homely because it was held in the groom’s living room – some opt to have their ceremony in a mosque – and everyone just seemed laidback and happy without detracting from the solemnness of the occasion. I thought there was something really beautiful about that aspect of it.

In the picture, the groom is taking his marriage vows and signing the marriage contract before a religious official while the bride looks on. The bride doesn’t get to say anything during the ceremony, which I’ll admit felt a little weird to me.

The couple exchanging wedding rings after the ceremony. In more conservative fashion, the bride kisses her new husband’s hand while the groom kisses his new wife on the forehead. Unlike the Western ‘you may kiss the bride’ custom, which feels romantic, this feels really sweet. And did I mention that the newlyweds are absolutely darling?

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Posted in: Daily Events.

30 Weeks: The baby bump

Jan 27th, 2010
by soph.
4 comments

We have a proper picture of my baby bump! Hubby and I finally got round to taking a photo, partly because I think the pregnant body is beautiful, and partly because I know that if we don’t, I’m going to look back years down the line and regret not having any pictures from my first pregnancy. My bump has really grown in the last week or so. One minute I was still fairly small, the next minute – boom! And it’s only going to get bigger (and faster) from here on.

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Posted in: Pregnancy.

All masked-up

Jan 21st, 2010
by soph.
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Wow, that charcoal mask really makes my nose look massive, doesn’t it? This is me at an Origins event yesterday, where I did the whole nine yards of skincare – cleanser, scrub, mask, toner, serums, eye cream, moisturiser and sunblock – in the name of work. You should have seen me trying to be dignified about washing scrub off my face with just that bowl of water in front of me. Considering the huge mess I usually make splashing around when I cleanse, and hubby will attest to that, it was a minor miracle the lady sitting next to me wasn’t even dripped on.

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Posted in: Work Stuff.

How far would you go to get into Cambridge University?

Jan 18th, 2010
by soph.
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Some of the neighbourhood kids have been doing their university applications and with my brother-in-law just starting college, we’ve been hearing lots of talk about who got into Cambridge University and who’s applying to do what course. Mostly, who got into Cambridge.

At last count, at least one of my brother’s friends has been accepted into the prestigious UK university while two others are on the waiting list. But what’s surprising isn’t how many seriously smart kids we have around here, it’s that one of them apparently told my brother he paid an English tuition teacher RM500 to write his personal statement for his application.

Now I don’t know if he paid the teacher to sit down and go through his essay with him and sort of coach him through it, or whether he paid the teacher to write it entirely. Obviously a teacher who would agree to the latter is of rather questionable character but that’s beside the point. The point is, no one seems to think there’s anything wrong with it!

I’ve heard comments about how it’s perfectly okay, that lots of other people cheat on their applications anyway, that sometimes you have to cheat a little to get ahead in this world… I mean, assuming it’s the second situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with seeking help in structuring or editing an essay and having someone go through it with you as long as you wrote it yourself.

Which makes me think, how far would parents go to ensure their child gets into a top university? How much are they willing to sacrifice just so they can tell other parents their son or daughter is studying in Cambridge? And by sacrifice I don’t mean financially, not at all. I mean morally.

Again, I don’t know exactly what the deal is with this kid but the whole incident just made me think really hard. The news shocked me, the reaction baffled me and now it’s just scaring me. Because what if, one day, my kid wants to apply to university and I think nothing of allowing him/her to cheat on the application? What if I become one of those parents who are so blinded by prestige I gladly sacrifice my integrity and the integrity of my child so he or she can get what she wants? Or worse, so they can get what I want.

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Posted in: Parenting.

29 Weeks: A dozen dos and don’ts

Jan 13th, 2010
by soph.
5 comments

As you can imagine, lots of well-meaning people have offered tips and advice on what I should and should not do while pregnant. I appreciate all the good intentions, I really, really do, and being pregnant has made me feel so loved because everyone has been such absolute sweethearts about looking out for me, buying (unisex) presents for our baby and making sure I’m eating plenty.

Having said that, I’m also Chinese and if there’s one thing the Chinese are very good at, besides math, it’s coming up with all sorts of dos and don’ts. Or superstitions, as some prefer to call them. So I’ve decided to share some of the things I’ve heard here. It’s by no means a comprehensive list, just whatever I can remember, and you’re more than welcome to add to my collection in the comments section.

1. Don’t watch horror movies. (No problems there, I don’t like horror movies.)

2. Don’t eat pineapple. (Oops!)

3. Don’t eat too much ice cream or other cold foods. (Oops!)

4. Don’t do any renovations to my house. If renovations are going on at my neighbour’s, try to stay with my in-laws.

5. Don’t gamble.

6. Don’t sew anything. (No worries there. Come to think of it, I don’t even own a needle and thread.)

7. Don’t use a hammer or make holes in anything.

8. Don’t eat crabs or your baby will grow up liking to pinch people. (Oops!)

9. Do drink lots of soya bean milk and eat other white foods so my baby will have fair skin.

10. Don’t eat or drink too much dark foods. Like coffee, for example. (Er, does chocolate count?)

11. Do look at pictures of good-looking people or cute things so my baby will come out cute. (I work at two celebrity and entertainment magazines, that’s got to help.)

12. Eat more. (Okay, about this one, I think I only need something like an extra 300 calories a day. I am not really supposed to be eating for two.)

On a slightly different note, I can’t believe I’m almost 30 weeks pregnant. I literally just counted. No wonder I’m like, huge all of a sudden. And hubby and I have made zero preparations. We haven’t bought a thing!

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Posted in: Pregnancy.

I don’t usually care for fortune cookies but this time…

Jan 8th, 2010
by soph.
1 comment

Several evenings ago, the women in my family (and my little brother, the proverbial thorn) sat down to a rare dinner together. My grandma’s not as mobile as she used to be and it’s getting harder and harder for us to convince her to leave the house but on this occasion, she agreed. So went our party of six – myself, my two sisters, mum, grandma and my brother.

We went to a Chinese restaurant and while waiting for dessert to arrive, the waitress brought us a plate of fortune cookies. Now I’ve always been really skeptical about fortune cookies – I’m sure they’re made up by a bunch of people who write random positive sentences to pass off as fortunes and they never say anything bad or people would never buy them but that makes them totally unrealistic because everyone experiences both good fortunes and bad ones.

This time though, it got a little more interesting. Bec’s was, “Dare to pursue dreams that are limitless” or something along those lines, mum’s read, “Believe in your dreams,” grandma’s said, “There will be happiness in your family soon,” Jessie’s was, “Your principles are more important to you than money,” and mine said, “Good health will be yours for a long time to come.”

They were all pretty generic statements but they were applicable in each of our individual situations. Bec and mum do have big dreams, they being the only ambitious, business-minded members of our lot; Jessie does care more about her principles than money; I’m pregnant and praying for the health of both myself and my baby; and grandma is pretty excited about my pregnancy – she should be, she’s been bugging me to have kids literally from the month I got married.

The only exception was my brother’s, whose fortune read simply, “You will have a pleasant surprise.” I think he was a little disappointed at how unprofound it was. Bec and I thought it was hilarious. And clearly the work of someone who had run out of inspiration.

I still don’t believe in fortune cookies – does anyone nowadays? – but in this particular instance, much to my surprise (maybe I should have taken my brother’s cookie instead), it brought us encouragement and made grandma happy so I’m reserving judgment. Just this once. Besides, I can’t say I don’t wish the fortunes will all come true.

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Posted in: Family.

27 Weeks: I finally have photos!

Jan 7th, 2010
by soph.
2 comments

During my first trimester, Chris suggested I take a photo of my belly every month to document its growth. It was a great idea, but I never got round to doing it. A month passed, then two, then three… and I realised just how rarely I take photographs. This is like the second photo I’ve had taken since my baby bump started showing, and it wasn’t even taken on my camera or Y’s (thanks, Erna!). That’s me testing out G’s Doof during a New Year’s Eve get-together at his fancy new bachelor pad. I know I know, you can’t really see my bump.

So here’s another photo of me talking to Alex and Y (thanks to Erna again!). It’s not very obvious but at least I’m standing up and you can just make out my bump. 27 weeks and counting: I’m feeling bigger by the day and I’m glad I don’t have scales in my house because I’m convinced the pounds are piling on faster than ever. My gynae’s scales would likely agree. I gained 5kg in two months and I haven’t even hit my third trimester yet.

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Posted in: Pregnancy.

We finally let our predictions out of the box

Jan 2nd, 2010
by soph.
2 comments

In December 2007, the boys, Sivin and I sat down to dinner and wrote predictions for ourselves and for each other. Without reading any of them, we put all the slips of paper into a box and we were supposed to open the box at the end of 2008 to see whether our predictions came true.

This is how good we are at procrastinating: we finally opened the box this New Year’s Eve. And the interesting thing is, way more of our predictions came true in 2009 than in 2008. Are we better at looking into the farther-future as opposed to the nearer-future or did the extra year simply increase our chances of getting something right?

Just off the top of my head, these were some of the predictions for me:

I would buy at least two pairs of shoes: Too easy. I’ve bought two pairs of shoes in a day.

I would sponsor a World Vision child: We did. Two, in fact.

Hubby and I would have a major fight: We had our worst ever fight in early 2009.

I would learn to cook: Technically I do know how to. I just suck. If it meant I would cook more, it didn’t happen.

I would cook a meal for the guys: Nope, didn’t happen either.

I would find a close female friend: I think it meant one here in KL. All my closest girlfriends are overseas. And no, that didn’t come true.

Hubby and I would think about starting a family: We talked about it in mid-2009. And decided not to just yet.

I would get pregnant: Less than a month after our talk… well, you know what happened.

Hubby would admit that I was right in front of all the boys: I can’t remember if that actually happened but I must say he’s become a lot more… receptive over the last two years.

Y would become a better husband: Yes. Especially in 2009. After that major fight.

Reading others’ predictions for you tells you a lot about how they perceive you and what they hope for you. There were two predictions on cooking, two on starting a family, at least three on our marriage. These are just ten of them. There were heaps more. And as G said, whether or not they came true didn’t matter, they warmed his heart. And mine.

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Posted in: Daily Events.