The day after: Still keeping it a secret

There’s nothing like going to work on Monday to jolt you out of whatever bubble you’ve been in during the weekend – in my case, the I-think-I’m-pregnant bubble. Hubby and I haven’t told a soul, not even our parents, because he’s adamant I have to see a gynaecologist to confirm the test. He doesn’t trust home pregnancy test kits. And it can’t even be a doctor, it has to be a gynaecologist. It has to be medically proven by a specialist.

I know home pregnancy test kits have an extremely high accuracy rate, but easing back into the routine of work has made me wonder if I imagined everything. Shouldn’t I be feeling all special and pregnant if I were really with child? I almost want to take another test to be sure but the continued absence of my period, along with my bloated tummy, are enough to convince me I didn’t dream it all.

xx

So I went to the doctor. And I’m really pregnant. The gynae even did an ultrasound to show me the little speck that could potentially become my future offspring. I say potentially because she says I’m just five weeks pregnant and it’s too early to hear a heartbeat. I have to go back in two weeks to confirm whether or not the pregnancy is viable.

Now I’m nervous. She gave me a list of things I’m not to eat: raw papaya, pineapple, Chinese herbal medicines, raw fish and meat, non-pasteurised cheeses. I didn’t tell her that in the five weeks I’ve been blissfully ignorant of the potential human being growing within me, I’ve been eating papaya almost every day. I also forgot to ask her if I could still have my absolute favourite milk tea every day. Did I mention that I’m nervous?

I think I’ll put the milk tea on hold for now. Just to be on the safe side.

She started me on folic acid, informed me that I’m not to gain more than 12kg in this pregnancy and said she’ll start me on iron pills later because they cause constipation. She also said not to announce my pregnancy because we don’t yet know if it’s viable or not. That’s really the reason why I’m nervous.

I think we may break the news to my in-laws soon. I’m leaving it to hubby – he’s the melodramatic one.

[Originally written: 28 July 2009]