I’ve just gotten back from dinner with my dad… in-law. It’s funny how when you get married you suddenly have two mothers to think of on mothers’ day, and two dads to consider on fathers’ day. Y and I have been married almost three years and he still has trouble getting the words ‘mum’ and ‘dad’ out with my parents. I have no problems of the like (and have made no secret of loving my in-laws), but then again, I’ve also had lots of practice.
One of the things nobody ever tells you about getting married is how difficult it is to call your new parents mum and dad. It’s already weird that you’ve been calling them aunty and uncle all along and suddenly they become mum and dad in like an hour; but it’s even more awkward because, well, you’ve been using those terms on your real parents all your life.
Adding to the early-day awkwardness was the fact that Y and I stayed with his parents during our first year of marriage. We left for our honeymoon four days after the wedding and stayed gone for over two weeks, but we eventually had to come home… to mum and dad. I kid you not – the first couple weeks we were back, I did not initiate a single conversation unless it was of the absolute highest importance. The way I saw it, as long as they talked to me first, I wouldn’t have to address them or get their attention, and saying ‘hey’ really wasn’t going to cut it.
I eventually got used to it, of course, but Y still hasn’t, partly because he really doesn’t spend anywhere near a decent amount of time with my parents. It’s not entirely his fault – let’s just say my family is a little complicated. The upside to that is, we never get into arguments about whose parents to spend special days with, and thankfully Chinese New Year lasts two days (or fifteen if you’re really into it).
My dad’s overseas so I sent him a text message earlier this afternoon to wish him Happy Father’s Day. And because I almost never say it, I signed off with ‘Love you. Soph.’
