Since getting home at 4am Saturday morning, I have spent the following 37.5 hours resolutely at home, save for the 2 hours I spent eating out last night. It’s a 3-day weekend and I’d had big hopes for a great couple days with hubby, who I’ve really hardly spent time with in the last few weeks. But he had an all-day thing yesterday and we had a fight first thing this morning and so all those hopes have gone to moot.
At first, I was furious. How dare he spoil my plans for a nice, relaxing long weekend? But having had a chance to calm down, I realised this was a good time after all. The last thing I want is to go to work with a quarrel looming over my head. I’d rather sulk and fume in the privacy of my home, thank you very much. And what better opportunity to think long and hard about marriage and the future than a couple of days with nothing planned?
So that’s what I’ve been doing all day. Just me, my laptop and a bunch of movies for company. In between scenes I jot down thoughts and delete them, write blog posts and twitter updates and then erase them all. Writing has a wonderful way of clearing my mind and organising my thoughts, though I’ve always struggled with putting my darkest musings out there. I am a much more private person than I’d like to think.
