I wonder what the midwives thought of us. Our room was almost directly in front of the midwives’ station and I’m sure they heard every word.
Posts Tagged ‘Pregnancy’
My baby bump at 38 weeks
A photo of my baby bump at 38 weeks, taken eight hours before baby Kaylin was born. Hubby and I used to think we’d really miss my bump and being able to feel baby moving inside me but now that she’s out, I think I like her in the flesh much more. In the excitement and busyness of everything since, I’d totally forgotten about this photo, which hubby took just before we went to the doctor’s. Baby’s estimated due date was supposed to be today but I’m glad she decided to arrive early. It’s been exactly two weeks and I really should get her that birth certificate.
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18. Give birth
When my doctor told me I was 3cm dilated at 37 weeks and that the baby could arrive “tonight, tomorrow or next week,” I called Y, dropped by the office to put in my medical leave, gathered some essentials so I could work from home and went straight back to the house to pack my hospital bag – which I’d been putting off. Then we waited. And waited. And waited.
One week later, I went back to the doctor, just as she was starting to get worried, and told her I’d had a few contractions here and there, but nothing major. She pronounced me 4cm dilated, said she was admitting me and declared that baby would be out by evening.
I don’t think Y and I even had a chance to register what was going on; everything happened so fast. And it’s one thing to know this day would come, and quite another to finally come face to face with it. Before we knew it, I was in a delivery ward, the doctor had broken my waters, and Y and I were taking silly videos of him breathing the gas that was supposed to be my pain relief.
The gas didn’t work. Not for us, anyway. I don’t know if it was an equipment malfunction or we just weren’t doing it right, but thank God for pethidine (which is a painkiller and sedative according to the midwife) because three hours in, I was just 6cm dilated, contractions were really starting to hurt and I was doubting my decision not to take an epidural.
Pethidine knocked me right out for the last hour and a half of labour so I only woke during the worst of contractions to complain that it hurt, ask Y if it was too late to take an epidural, demand a single room (hey, I was in labour!) and announce that I was too sleepy to push, not necessarily in that order.
As it turned out, I needn’t have worried about being too drowsy. At 5.30pm, four and a half hours after my waters broke, I woke in a panic and told Y to call the nurse because I was feeling the urge to push. Baby may have taken a heck of a long time to get from 3cm to 4cm, but once she decided it was time to come out, there was no stopping her. Half an hour, a local anaesthetic and (I think) four pushes later, she was out.
I was so drugged up the first thing I thought when they put her on my tummy was, “So this is what a newborn looks like.” I didn’t even think to check baby’s sex even though we’d kept it a surprise right to the end, I was just amazed that this gooey little human being actually fit inside me like a minute ago. That was when Y cut the umbilical cord and announced, “It’s a girl!”
For my ongoing list of 100 things I want to do, go here.
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38 Weeks: Look who decided to show up!
Little Kaylin arrived right on 38 weeks, weighing 6.2lbs and and measuring 47cm. Mummy is extremely thankful she spent just five hours in labour and is settling into motherhood. Daddy has discovered he’s actually pretty good with babies, although he is yet to change a diaper. Baby, meanwhile, has discovered the joys of being held all the time and is totally a daddy’s little girl – in more ways than one.
I’ll save the full story of Kaylin’s birth for another post when I have more minutes to spare but in the meantime, I’ll be posting occasional updates on Twitter. Thanks so much for all the love, well wishes, visits and presents, hubby and I appreciate them (and all of you!) more than you know.
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37 Weeks: The waiting begins
I have been sent home with a medical certificate to await the arrival of the little one because, as the doctor put it, it could be any day now. Hubby’s on standby and in the meantime, I’ve been working from home. Which I love. Our baby definitely takes after the father – active at night, has long legs, doesn’t do as it’s told (as poor J, who has been trying to get baby to kick for him for months will attest to), and now, impatient! I think hubby is secretly proud.
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Is it okay to rub a pregnant woman’s belly?
One of many a pregnant woman’s pet peeves is how people seem to think it’s okay to walk up to her and rub her belly. While I’ve been lucky enough to not experience too many unwelcome encounters – I think I’ve only had three or four people I don’t really know come up to me and rub my belly so far – it’s enough for me to understand how these women feel.
A friend once asked if I’ve had many people rub my belly because, as she put it, “a pregnant woman’s belly is like public property.” Can I just say, it is not. I don’t mind you copping a rub if I know you really well, or if you ask, but if you’re just an acquaintance and you don’t even ask, then it’s not cool.
An aunty I see occasionally on the street where I work once walked right up to me and started rubbing my belly, and I don’t know if she noticed, but I almost flinched, only partly in surprise.
Friends who’ve had babies or husbands whose wives have had babies totally understand. In fact, it’s the husbands who usually caution others, “Don’t touch,” while the wives usually ask, “Can I touch?” If I know you, it’s probably fine. If you ask first, it’s probably fine.
I understand it’s almost instinctive for some – I noted with amusement an acquaintance who automatically reached out when she found out I was pregnant and then pulled back when she realised she was standing too far away to reach my belly – but for the sake of all pregnant women out there, especially the less touchy-feely ones, do try to ask permission first. After all, it’s only polite.
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36 Weeks: Baby’s first toy
My boss recently got back from the UK and he brought with him baby’s first toy! (How sweet of him.) He said they didn’t have this in gender-neutral colours so he went with the blue because he thinks we might be having a boy. Having spent the last couple of weeks baby shopping, I must say this gender-neutral thing is a lot trickier than I thought it would be. I bought a blue changing mat the other day because the store only had it in blue or pink, and then, just to balance it out, I bought a pink bath towel. I’ve been thinking if I should name the bunny. I love how he sits in the pouch.
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Playing guess the baby’s sex
Since Y and I have decided to keep the sex of our baby a surprise, everyone’s been having plenty of fun trying to guess if baby is a boy or a girl. From my colleagues to our families to even the aunty who runs the beauty salon next door at work, people just keep coming up to me and declaring their verdicts.
Most of them don’t even explain why they think it’s one or the other, though our families seem to be going by the theory that a small, neat and sharp-ish bump indicates a boy. But I’m glad everyone’s getting in on the fun. In fact, the office has even started a betting pool to guess baby’s sex and the date of birth. So far, the majority seems to think we could be having a boy, so if it turns out otherwise, those four people who bet baby girl are in for a treat.
Both our mums are also leaning towards boy, although I must add that all their guesses are followed by a “but”. As in, “I think it’s a boy but I thought your sister was a boy too because my bump was so neat when I was carrying her” (my mum). And, “It looks like it could be a boy but I was so sure [Y's sister] was a boy too until she came out” (my mum-in-law).
As for hubby and myself, our first guess was that we’re having a boy. Hubby was so sure we even bought boys’ clothes when we got a voucher that we had to spend before the end of last year. Recently, though, I’ve been thinking it might be a girl, and hubby woke up one morning last week convinced of the same. So we’ll see. One of my new-mummy friends told me the woman always knows instinctively, but I think my instincts are just as confused as I am.
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34 Weeks: The first stretch mark
I suppose it was only a matter of time, but we’ve discovered my first stretch mark on my belly. Actually, make that stretch marks. I have two, one on either side of my baby bump, and really, if Y hadn’t pointed them out, I might not even have noticed (that’s how big my bump is becoming).
Sometime towards the end of my first trimester, I was told that in order to prevent stretch marks, I would have to apply stretch-mark cream right from the minute I found out I was pregnant, and not just once a day but several times a day! I thought it was a bit extreme. I mean, who has time to apply cream on their tummy several times throughout the day?
So I went out and got myself a big bottle of Bio-Oil and started applying that every night instead. I’ve kept it up most nights since my second trimester, although I admit to occasionally being too lazy or too tired every once in a while. There are plenty of fantastic stretch-mark creams out there, or so I’ve been told, but I picked Bio-Oil because: 1) Lots of people have told me how good it is; 2) It’s really affordable.
Until recently, I thought I was doing pretty well. Then I found out that the real challenge lies ahead. Apparently, I’m going to absolutely balloon in these last weeks and it’s when you grow really big really fast that stretch marks develop. As if to underline the point, Y discovered these first marks that very night. They’re fairly small but a rather defiant purplish colour, kind of like bruises.
I’m preparing myself for more – as Y put it, “Of course you’re going to get stretch marks, you’re carrying a baby inside you for nine months!” – but in the meantime, I also don’t think I’ll be playing hooky from my nightly Bio-Oil routine anymore.
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Is this what it feels like to have pregnancy mood swings?
Sometime last week, I sort of lost my temper at Y while at my in-laws’. I almost never do that, and the problem with being so easygoing/reserved in general is that people tend to panic and overreact at the first sign of emotion from me. That night, they saw emotion. Believe me, if I’d really lost my temper it would not have been so mild.
The following day, when it was just me and my in-laws, my father-in-law basically suggested that if Y came home from work in a bad mood, I should leave him alone. I’m sure he meant it in a peacemaking kind of way – he did say it so very, very nicely – but he also said: “Sometimes we men, when we have a bad day at work…”
My first thought was, “Excuse me, but I’m over seven months pregnant and working full-time, but I still don’t think it would be fair for me to come home and give Y attitude just because I had a bad day.” But I didn’t say anything. Or rather, I didn’t say anything to express my disagreement. Probably because my father-in-law said it so nicely, and because I’m generally a non-confrontational person unless you’re my immediate family or my husband.
After I got home, however, I got really annoyed at the chauvinistic implications of that remark. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got – not so much at my father-in-law, but at myself for not saying anything. And the more I stewed in my frustration, the more worked-up I became. The worst part was, I didn’t know if I was overreacting because of all the pregnancy hormones (I’ve been on the look-out for mood swings since day one) or if it really was as big a deal as I was quickly making it out to be.
So I did what I do best – write. I sat down at my laptop and started to write this post. I got as far as the second paragraph… and my frustration completely dissipated. I contemplated deleting everything since I was no longer annoyed, but decided to keep at it. And the more I wrote, the calmer I felt and the more convinced I became that, yes, it was those hormones after all.
I was initially going to title this post, “This will teach me to be so damn un-confrontational.” Then I thought I’d make it about how I was no longer upset about my father-in-law’s remark because I understand and appreciate the fact that he meant well. Now, I think it’s about how my pregnancy hormones are (finally) kicking in and screwing with me because, as hubby will testify, it’s been pretty peaceful so far. (Thank God for that.)
