The Akad Nikah is the marriage contract or marriage solemnization part of a traditional Muslim wedding. I knew a little bit about it, things I’d learned from photographs, friends and wedding assignments for work, but until yesterday morning, I’d never actually attended one before.
The thing that struck me the most was how simple and communal everything was. The couple’s closest friends and family gathered around them for the ceremony, some sitting on the floor, others standing around. It felt really homely because it was held in the groom’s living room – some opt to have their ceremony in a mosque – and everyone just seemed laidback and happy without detracting from the solemnness of the occasion. I thought there was something really beautiful about that aspect of it.
In the picture, the groom is taking his marriage vows and signing the marriage contract before a religious official while the bride looks on. The bride doesn’t get to say anything during the ceremony, which I’ll admit felt a little weird to me.
The couple exchanging wedding rings after the ceremony. In more conservative fashion, the bride kisses her new husband’s hand while the groom kisses his new wife on the forehead. Unlike the Western ‘you may kiss the bride’ custom, which feels romantic, this feels really sweet. And did I mention that the newlyweds are absolutely darling?
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Posted in: Daily Events.
Y and I got our very first Christmas tree this year, a thousand thanks to Wan Yen.
As we were putting it up together, I realised that decorating a Christmas tree is one of those things that sort of get ingrained in you, especially if you, like me, grew up with a Christmas tree most years. And it isn’t until you’re married and attempting to put one up with your husband that you realise that everyone does it slightly differently, and everyone comes with preconceived notions – or lack thereof – of how it should be done.
People ask all sorts of questions before they get married to each other: life goals, family plans, likes and dislikes. You think you know a person, but really, until the occasion arises, you’ve never asked what they usually eat for reunion dinner on Chinese New Year’s eve, how they decorate their Christmas trees and what their Christmas lunch entails.
It’s only when the time comes, in our case three years into our marriage, that I realise Y doesn’t really know how to put up a Christmas tree. And I am reminded afresh that we are actually two different people from two different backgrounds coming together to make a new life.
I am reminded that we have different habits, different traditions and different memories of the same celebrations. It’s kind of cool, the fact that I am reminded of this and the fact that we’re making new traditions together. Not that I have decided if an annual Christmas tree is going to be our tradition. We’ll see.
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Posted in: Marriage.
