As a writer with HELLO! magazine, I am ‘strongly encouraged’ to identify (or better still, get to know) entertainment types, corporate bigshots and miscellaneous Very Important Persons, usually with titles preceding their names. As you might have guessed, my knowledge of such local personalities are amount to practically zero, which can be cause for some very funny incidents, but really not a good thing at all. So I’m making an effort to learn. And the best way to do that is simply by asking ‘who’s that’ all the time.
It was also partly inspired by the following incident, which took place when I interviewed a local celebrity. Names have been withheld to protect everyone’s privacy and the conversation has been edited for length.
The scene: Having diligently done my research, prepared my questions, and even Googled photographs of The Celebrity so I wouldn’t approach the wrong person and make a complete ass of myself, I thought I had it down pat. I spotted her right away among the production crew, so I introduced myself to her and we got chatting (she was lovely to talk to). Then, Mystery Guy comes and sits down with us.
TC: Oh, pretty girl only you come and sit down lah.
MG: What, no.
TC: You should go home and rest, darling. I’m alright, someone else can send me home.
MG: No, don’t worry, it’s okay.
Me: [Hmm... I wonder who this guy is. They appear to be close, it sounds like he sends her places, maybe he's her PA.]
MG introduces himself to me: Hi, I’m Mystery Guy. Here’s my card.
Me: [Take the card, look at it, keep it, give him my card, do the whole intro/nice to meet you thing.]
Two seconds later, TC is called away.
MG: So, you’re a writer with HELLO!?
Me: Yep. [Who is this guy?]
(In retrospect, actually registering what I saw on his namecard might have helped.)
MG’s phone rings. He answers, talks, and hangs up.
Me: Oh, I have that phone too. [How do I ask what he's doing here without sounding rude?]
MG: Everyone has this phone.
Me: Ya, I realised only after I bought it… [Imply that it's less cool because it's so common, realise I might be insulting his phone, quickly add something nice about it. After all, I really do like my phone.]
MG: But one thing I find not so good about it is the battery. It doesn’t last very long.
Me: [Give him the 'really?' look]
MG: It’s probably just me; I’m on the phone all the time.
Me: [Shrug] Oh, I don’t have that problem. [Who. is. this. guy?]
He mentions something about a client.
Me: Oh, so you’re here because (insert random company name) is your client? (In retrospect, I might have sounded a teeny bit too relieved.) What agency are you with?
MG: [Probably starting to realise I'm clueless] I gave you my name card…
Me: Oh ya, you did. [Take it out, look at it again, put it back. Still no lightbulbs.]
MG: A few of us, (insert several celebrity names I actually recognise here), are coming together for a shoot. Will you be covering it?
Me: I don’t know if I’ll be doing it myself, but I’m pretty sure our magazine will be covering it. [Why does he say 'us' as if he's also a celebri... Shit! He's the actor on the bilboard near my house!]
In my defence, he doesn’t really look like the picture on the bilboard, (though my being away might have flawed my memory some), he looks better! And after he excused himself and I got a chance to look at all six-feet-two of him standing up, I had to admit he was a little too cute to be a PA. Not that tall, good-looking men with model builds can’t do a great job at being a PA, of course!
The good news is, he didn’t take insult (either that or he’s a damn good actor) and he was nice enough to give me a lift after. He probably didn’t have much of a choice anyway because we ran so late I had to do the interview with TC in the car on the way to her next appointment (I told you he sends her places!).
So there I was, sitting on the edge of the backseat, elbows propped on the two front seats, posing questions while TC held my digital recorder. Y said I was totally unprofessional but it was either that or a wasted trip and no interview. Plus, I made my office mildly jealous because I got to ride in the actor’s car.
The bad news is, the experience was probably wasted on me because I had only the vaguest idea of who he was at the time. But, I have since been enlightened by a lot of flabbergasted, indignant people.
