The long weekend is almost over and in between mild panic attacks at the thought of going back to work and withdrawal symptoms of the like, I realise I’ve spent much of the last three days crying.
Y has been away on a dive trip since Thursday night – he just got back a few hours ago – and in his absence, I’ve been crying over both episodes of Grey’s Anatomy that I’ve watched and pretty much every other episode of Brothers & Sisters, the first two seasons of which I finished just before noon today. I even watched all the special features.
These two are my current absolute favourite TV serials because I’m a complete sucker for brilliant TV writing. I wish I could write like that and I wish I could work on shows like that. The fact that I have no experience, seriously doubtful ability and live a million miles away from Hollywood doesn’t matter when I’m daydreaming. Oh, to be able to draw people in and create something that so many people can relate to and love, even when it hits a little too close to home.
Brothers & Sisters does that for me in so many ways I cannot even begin to tell you. It’s also got me thinking about fidelity, which comes up a lot in the show. I’ve always reserved a special anger for men who cheat, as some have discovered, but what I’ve been thinking about is the woman’s right to know.
I’d want to know if my husband cheats and I’ve told Y that at least twice. I would rather deal with the reality and the pain than live in stupid, if blissful, ignorance. To me, the only thing worse than being cheated on is not knowing, especially if everyone else around me knows. Because when the truth comes out, and it often does eventually, I’m going to feel a thousand times smaller and more humiliated. Or at least, that’s what I imagine anyway.
The thing is, I’m starting to wonder if everyone else feels the same way. After all, there’s the other school of thought, the idea that what you don’t know won’t hurt you. And until this weekend, I’ve always insisted that the woman should know. But what if she doesn’t want to?
Would you want to know if your partner is cheating on you? Would you tell your friend if you know his/her partner is cheating on them? My answer is yes and yes. Unless you tell me otherwise.
long standing notion, never a perfect answer…
so…
try eli stone, a breath of fresh air.
Agree, Yes and Yes.
zewt: I’m not looking for a perfect answer, I’m just wondering if women/people really want to know. but I’ve been told Eli Stone is also pretty good, maybe I should try that next :)
If I walk in on my man with another woman, it’s over. No forgiveness, no therapy, no hope of reconciliation because the image will be seared into my mind permanently. But otherwise, I don’t want to know.
My ex-fiance cheated on me and it was obvious because of all the things she left behind in his room. He left them there so he wouldn’t have to say the words. So knowing really doesn’t make things better.
Erna: Thanks for sharing and sorry to hear about the ex-fiance. You’re making me think twice about my stand.
this is more a ‘why’ on cheating husbands but it does touch on what women should or should not find out. http://www.buzzstoc.com/2008/09/11/the-truth-about-cheating/
thanks, “a reader”!