I called 8TV – you know, that seemingly funky, cool new TV channel in Malaysia – yesterday to see if I could get a job as an intern during my winter break. This is what happened.
Receptionist: Halo, 8TV.
Me: (Wincing a little at the Malay accent I’d totally forgotten) Hi, I’m interested in applying for an internship at 8TV, is there someone I can talk to about this?
Receptionist: (In a distinctly whiny, I-don’t-know-what-you’re-talking-about-and-I-don’t-care manner) Er… what?
Me: I’m interested in applying for an internship at 8TV, is there someone I can talk to, or an address I can email or something? Because believe it or not, 8TV does not have an email address on their website.
Receptionist: You wait ar. (And either hangs up, or puts me on hold – they don’t have music playing when someone is put on hold. It’s just silence. But I think she hung up. Because 3 minutes later…)
Receptionist: Halo, 8TV.
Me: (Realising it’s the same person) Hi, it’s me again. I called just now asking about an internship… “and you hung up on me you incompetent woman” I wanted to add.
Receptionist: (Sounding almost disappointed that I was still there) Oh. Wait. I transfer you. (And puts me on hold again).
Me: (Waits with the silence for 3 more minutes, on the verge of saying, “Stuff this internship, I can’t believe they hire people like that”).
Some Guy 1: Halo.
Me: Hey, I’m making progress. Hi, I’m interested in applying for an internship at 8TV, is there someone I can talk to?
Some Guy 1: Er… hold on, I transfer you. Ah, that wonderfully grammatically wrong Malaysian English. (And he puts me on hold. Again. 2 minutes later…)
Some Guy 2: (Sounding distinctly suspicious, probably because the whole office has heard of me by now) Halo.
Me: Hi, I’m interested in applying for an internship at 8TV, is there someone I can talk to?
Some Guy 2: What?
Me: Like a job. I’m interested in applying for a holiday job. Hey you never know, maybe “internship” is too big a word.
Some Guy 2: Oh. Holiday trip. (Turns to someone in the background and says, “Holiday trip”, to which that someone responds, “What holiday trip?”, to which he pauses.) Er… what holiday trip?
Me: No, holiday job. Like an internship. I want to work.
Some Guy 2: Ohhhh. Internship. Aha, so they do understand that word after all. You wait ar, I transfer you. (And puts me on silence for another 2 minutes. This brings new meaning to the term “silent treatment”.)
Some Woman: Halo.
Me: (Thoroughly sick of asking) Hi, I’m interested in applying for an internship at 8TV, is there someone I can talk to?
Some Woman: Erm… Have you called before?
Me: Nope. Unless you count all those times I was put on hold as a call each.
Some Woman: You have to submit the application form and all the documents…
And would you believe it, after all that, I find out that they have an internship program, but that internship program is only open to those who have a letter from their university (probably to say that they need the internship as part of their course). Which I don’t. Which means I can’t apply for an internship. Which means I won’t be working at 8TV this winter break. Which means (hopefully) that I’ll never need to talk to those people again.
I was almost relieved that I could finally hang up.
Now I know I really am crazy.
